breaking the ten commandments of youth ministry

There are probably more than ten but no one would raise eyebrows at a posting called "breaking the 14 commandments of youth ministry." Since I consider these commandments of youth ministry unbreakable for most people in youth ministry, etc. I wanted to communicate their sacredness by using the metaphor of the Decalogue. I would have called them "sacred cows of youth ministry" but hardly anyone understands that metaphor. Anyway, to the list. What are the 10 commandments of youth ministry that I want to break? I will list them first and then I will over the next few days comment on each one. By the way, the "thou shalts are a nice touch...don't you think?"

1. Thou shalt never teach doctrine.
2. Thou shalt be event oriented.
3. Thou shalt never be serious.
4. Thou shalt never offend with truth.
5. Thou shalt teach self-esteem.
6. Thou shalt never expect much.
7. Thou shalt worry about behavior more than belief.
8. Thou shalt measure success by numbers.
9. Thou shalt discourage honest questions.
10. Thou shalt be cool.

There is no need to try and read into the order they are in. Each one is equally able to damn those who do not follow with Pharisaical zeal.