5 Social Media Resolutions for the New Year

I resolve to use Twitter and facebook to make fun of people and ridicule more, especially famous people who cannot even know I exist. It makes me feel special when people laugh at my 140-chracter wit and isn’t this how they will know we have been with Jesus?

I resolve to practice my righteousness before men as much as possible on Twitter and facebook.

I resolve to retweet famous rock-star type pastors only and look for good quotes that will be retweeted by people. It makes me feel oh so good inside.

I resolve to use Twitter and facebook to make people feel guilty about their failures and sins and help them question their love for Jesus. After all, I don’t really believe in sanctification by faith in the gospel anyhow. And who wants to hear the gospel tweeted every. single. day?

I resolve to look down on those who do not use these social mediums and question the relevance of pastors who don’t especially.